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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Eastern Intoxication Days 11-13: New England Debauchery

Boston Show
We crossed the boarder and drove to Framingham, MA and had to go to the airport to pick up Richard and our new road companion Andrew Ego from the Boston airport. We were very happy that our buddy Andrew was coming to America to help out and party with us for the week. Apparently they had an even more invasive and stressful time coming across. The American boarder is harder to get into than Mother Teresa’s panties. I always approach the boarder on the assumption that they are going to look into my bum. What a strange occupation that must be. The guy who looks in peoples asses to make sure they aren’t smuggling drugs or merchandise. What are the qualifications anyways? Must own Rubber glove? It is also an indication that our culture is at a steady decline.  I wonder what the strangest thing they ever found in a guys arse was. I would love to get an impossibly long length of tied together handkerchiefs that clowns pull out of there mouths and stick it up my heart shaped dumper just for them to pull it out during a cavity search… The entire time singing the circus theme with a smile. Do do Doodle do do-do do do fuckin' do.

After picking up the boys we headed to our new friend Dan Hammer’s house in Framingham, MA to get some sleep and get ready for our first American gig in Boston. We pulled up to his house and were greeted with warmth and respect. Very nice place. This Dan Hammer fella' has made a great life for himself. He owns a nice big house with all sorts of toys, giant TVs and Musical equipment. His house is basically Pee Wee's Playhouse for Alcoholics. He also lives with his wife and 3 other beautiful women who have been very sweet. The first thing I wanted to do was take a shower. At this point I had not slept or showered in 3 days and I had lost 10 pounds since I left. Once I was under the hot water I was so happy I literally thought I was going to cry. I had a good shave, and covered myself in peppermint body wash. God bless America.

Dan Hammer... Don't Maze me Bro!
After a good nap we headed to the venue for our first American show at O’Brien’s Pub in Boston. It was an all thrash show featuring Manic Repressive, Led to the Grave and Dan Hammer’s band Skull Hammer. It was a really fun night. We made a bunch of new friends. I was especially happy to meet the guys from Razormaze. They are a wicked thrash band from the Boston area that I have enjoyed for some time. They couldn’t have been nicer dudes. The singer Alex let me know that he had a keg of free 7 percent beer on ice on his driveway and encouraged us to come over and drink with them and have an after party. God bless America.  

Hanging out with Sam from Razormaze in Maine
After the show we stopped by for some cold beers. I was feeling completely wiped from our epic journey from Halifax to Boston so I wasn’t feeling too rowdy. Instead I just hung out, sipped on some ale and enjoyed the atmosphere. I was really glad to have met the Razormaze dudes. I really respect them and I am glad they turned out to be chillers like us. After the party we drove back to Dan Hammer’s for some shut-eye.

Partying after Boston show
Skull Hammer Homebrew
The next day we had a gig in Providence, Rhode Island. I pictured Providence to be a slice of Americana with white picket fences and tree swings. Instead they had crack heads and potholes. A pretty rough part of town. I’ve never met such aggressive homeless people. We were playing at a pretty neat venue called Firehouse 13, which is actually built inside an old Fire station. As soon as we hit the stage shit started going wrong. In our first song Eytan’s amp blew up. Fuckin' great. Luckily our boys in Skull hammer knew what had happened seemingly before we did and ran to their van to grab their amp and let us do the switch. After we got past that nightmare, I accidently kicked out my guitar pedal 2 or 3 times. For the entire 25-minute set we ran around like a bunch of stone-head teletoon midgets on heroin. Yuck. As uncomfortable as that set was I think it was good for me. I think it’s a good thing when life reminds you what a pathetic loser you really are. Its good for you, it keeps you in check. Any feeling that I had that I am a rock star or a consummate pro are dead as dog dirt. It was an early show so afterwards we headed back to Dan’s place and partied with some folks who were congregating at the house. I spent most of the night getting to know the Skull Hammer dudes. Solid guys, man. We were just telling stories, dirty jokes and sharing ideas. One of the best laughs came from the guitarist/singer Ace. He had an idea to benefit the prostitution industry. A prostitute with an air mattress attached to her back and a debit machine attached. A portable bordello aptly named a “Portobello”. I must have laughed at that for about a half hour. They also shared some home brewed Skull Hammer cider. It was really yummy. Everyone in the house was drinking beer bongs and having fun. God bless America.

Crowd surfing at Boston show
More partying after the Boston show w/ Razormaze
The next day was a Monday. We were playing in Portland, Maine. I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be too successful because Monday shows usually stink and it was raining. I didn’t really care for some reason. I was just in the mood to play a fucking gig. Also all of the bands were solid. Waranimal opened up the show with a vengeance. Also closing the show was Skull Hammer and Hessian. We got up at around 11 and I was feeling good. Also the room was filling up pretty well for a Monday show. As soon as we hit the first chord I was Catatonic. We played a crushing set. I just felt loose and felt myself. I also took a bit of time to exercise some banter. I love working on thoughts and ideas on stage. Although riffing can get you into trouble if you stumble or lose steam on a topic. But when it goes right it is the most pure expression imaginable. I was in heaven. Playing a good set is like surfing, catching a good wave and riding it to shore. Mission accomplished. This was my favorite set of the tour so far. All the locals were way too nice for there own good and showed me lots of love and free beer throughout the night. Damn I love Portland, Maine.

Tonight we are playing in Dan Hammers hometown Framingham in an underground BYOB venue called the Chop Shop. We are playing with Skull Hammer and our new friends in Razormaze. Shit is gonna get messy y’all! Can’t wait.

Enjoy yourselves,

Sylvester McMonkey McSpeen

More pictures from this blog coming soon!
Eytan and his twin

Ego the new road crew

Chin city chinners

Spencer didn't make it to bed..

Fatality and friends at Geno's in Portland!

Drinking local Portland brew

Portland crew

After the show in Portland... DRUNK

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