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Saturday, May 07, 2011

Eastern Intoxication Day Three: Fog and Fuckery in Montreal

One of my favorite places in the entire globe is Montreal. The people seem to have a more reasonable outlook on things. They have a more open mind in general about sex, relationships and booze (3 of my favorite things). We drove in the afternoon to L’Hemisphere Gauche and we got there nice and early and set up. The place filled up quick and we played my favorite set so far. The reason why I enjoyed it so much is because the excitement level kept building throughout the set. We didn’t plateau or loose momentum at any point throughout the set. We are a bunch of fun loving imbeciles but we take what we do very seriously. We really go out of our way each night to make sure that we perform to our greatest potential and our main goal is to entertain. And entertain we did. We do pride ourselves in never half assing anything that we do. When it comes to our live show we always give all we have no matter if we are playing in front of 500 or 5 people. Great night in Montreal. I was also pleased to hear that our manager hooked up with a broad at some point in the night; which helps the greater cause. I also got a lot of love and respect from the people of Montreal. It is very nice to fit in in a place where I don’t regularly visit.
After the show I had to drive our van and enormous trailer not to mention a bunch of stoned, drunk and over sexed young adults to the next town St. Hyacinthe. What a fuckin' nightmare that was. The Quebec highways were plagued with construction. Our cunting GPS instructed me to drive into all sorts of dead ends and closed roads. All of this in thick, thick fog. I could barely see anything, so I drove the way old people fuck:  Slow and Sloppy! I wanted nothing more then to drive the damn thing off a cliff, but I decided to crank some CCR and plow through it to our friend Matt from Eternal Judgment’s place so we could have a few drinks and get a bit of shut eye. Along the way our manager Rich informed me that he need me to pull over so he could take a leak. At that point I wouldn’t have stopped the van if my dick caught on fire. When I told him to fuck himself, he grabbed the nearest container he could find which turned out to be an old coffee cup he found on the ground. He filled it up, put the plastic lid on it and told Adam to toss it out the window at 80 KPH. Adam begrudgingly obliged. And thanks to our friend physics, as soon as he stuck the piss cup out the window it exploded in his hand and piss flew all over him. This couldn’t have made me any happier. This was followed by 10 minutes of uproarious laughter from the boys and me. Fuckin fantastic. I needed some comic relief, as I was about to rip my hair out due to those fuckin' Quebec roads.

We made it in one piece to St. Hyacinthe and pulled up to Matt’s apartment. When we got up in the morning we went to the park and played a long awaited Fatality VS. Eternal Judgment Baseball game. After loosing a shameful 14-12 we headed to the venue and now we are just hanging out waiting for the excitement to begin. We are playing the second night of a 2-night Thrash fest. These guys are notorious partiers and I know they have a huge after party lined up so we can unwind and have a bit of fun before we head to our next show in Quebec City at Bar Octobre. Sheer Fucking Insanity

- The Speen Machine

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