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Saturday, May 07, 2011

Eastern Intoxication Day Two: Raging in Ot-twat


One of the most important parts of being on tour is to be able to enjoy yourself on the down time, especially the long drives. It took us about a mile and a half to start mooning people on our way from Oshawa to Ottawa. We spotted 2 corporate beer company vans on the highway, one Painted in the Molson Canadian logo and another Bud Light. Driving the vans were the attractive Beer girls that beer companies pay to go to corporate events and trick gullible and eager men into drinking their shitty beer. We figured they would be prime targets for bum related road terrorism. We drove parallel to them and Eytan gave the disservice of exposing his plump heart shape dumper to the unexpecting women inside the vans, then we cowardly drove off like a bunch of adolescent ding-dongs. That held us for roughly 25 minutes. Sometimes it’s good for the soul to be immature. 4 hours later when we pulled into Ottawa, in a magical twist of fate we discovered that the beer girls were dropping off beer products at a club right down the street to Mavericks, the venue we were playing at. Upon realization that we came across the same girls who we shared such an experience together 4 hours prior, Suarez realizes that the girl who was driving the Canadian truck was a girl that he dated years ago, so excitedly he hopped out of the van and approached her and asked, “Vanessa?” She stares at him and tells him that wasn’t her name. Once he realized he was mistaken, like a clumsy oaf, he let her know that we were the folks that mooned her and it was an interesting coincidence. She then stared a different stare of complete disgust and general hatred.
 We had a very interesting day in Ottawa.  As soon as we got there we were greeted by the finest crank addicts, smack smokers and filthy pow blowers Ottawa had to offer. We pulled in to the metro grocery a bit early so after loading in we decided to have a dirty no holds barred BBQ in the parking lot. So, like a pack of fuckin gypsy’s we set up shop and started cookin' up some burgers and corn. We then went in to mavericks and checked out the wicked openers. After I, Colossus was done ripping some wicked technical metal we went up and played a solid set.

Barbecuing in the Metro parking lot downtown Ottawa

Right now we are headed to Montreal to play a sold out show at L’Hemisphere Gauche in Montreal. We are playin' with the dudes in Dissension who played with us and Cryptopsy in Toronto in the winter. Really looking forward to seeing some good friends and make some new ones tonight.

- The Speen Machine
Lord Beerses in all his glory
Hanging out with our good friend Ally



On stage at Mavericks

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