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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Western Annihilation Days 9-10: Calgary Babealgary

Interview with Extreme Metal TV in Calgary
I write this for you today in a state of tiredness and confusion. Jesus, it’s the senior prom all over again. Here I am in Calgary. Just had an amazing time last night at Lord Nelson's. Calgary is so far the most beautiful place we have visited. I don’t know why, but this city resonates with me. We got to the venue a little early to do an interview, so I had a little time to myself to explore. I hopped on my bike and started into unknown territory. I went down a random street and ended up in the bar district. Shit was bumping because it is the Calgary stampede this week. I still don’t really know what the fuck the stampede is. But one things for sure, every single human in Calgary had perfect DNA and a cowboy hat. It was a strange experience to say the least. There were perfect 10 models and celebrities everywhere. I even saw the actor that plays Vince from Entourage. You know that feeling when you are almost certain that everyone within a 100 Kilometer radius is better looking than you? Doesn’t it make you feel like a loser? It really affirms the fact that I am a pile of genetic debris.

Planting our asses right on the foot massagers.. haha
At one point on my bike ride I came across 4 girls who were physically perfect getting into a cab. I was biking the same way as them and was driving parallel for about a minute. As they were turning off the street I was on, I heard one of the models say something negative about me to her friends, then she waved at me and smiled shitilly. And for once in my life, I had nothing to say. No retort. Why would a woman like that treat me with respect? There I was, unshaven, with cut off shorts, a stupid shirt that says, “Gone Fishin’” and a filthy bandana with weed leaves on it. I really looked like a vagina with eyes. I could have legally changed my name to Axl Grose. And the funny thing is if they actually got to know me there is a chance they would hate me even more! What do I have to offer chicks like that? They were probably on their way to an awesome loft to have sex with basketball players, and at that time I probably appeared sticky to the touch.
World Class White Trash

The show was friggin awesome. This would be the last we saw of the bands Without Mercy and Until Dawn; we also made friends with the local bands We Found the Body and World Class White Trash. All the bands got hammered. I stayed sober because I needed to drive, but I still enjoyed myself very much.

Doughnut Burger... WTF!

Tonight we are headed downtown to the last night of the Calgary Stampede. I plan on getting dressed up, having some drinks and dancing all night to shitty country music.

Wish me luck, friends.


Group shot with Eytan's cousin Paula

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