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Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Towards Disastour blog vol. 1: Que-heck

Hell yeah brothers and sisters! This is Spencer LeVon peck-pecking away as we roll towards the American border from Quebec.

Goddamn, Quebec roads stink. I swear, Quebec must be the pylon capital or the world, because the highway looks like an in-line skating course gone horribly wrong. A local told me that this is because the construction companies started repairing the roads all over the province, but then went halfway through the job went on strike in hopes of more money from the government. And although I would rather gouge out my left eye with an AIDS dick then navigate these godforsaken roads I must admit, that is a gangster-ass move.

We are currently on day 3 of our tour. It all started off in our hometown of Toronto on Friday night for our album launch of new record Psychonaut. What a night. Special thanks to Call of the Wild and Shotgun Cure for the support. Great night from start to finish. It was a real confidence booster playing to a packed house of friends and fans that have been keeping an eye on us from our humble beginnings in the metal scene, trying new things, experimenting and introspectively defining who we are as a group of unique individuals in this crazy-ass metal band. Toronto has for sure shaped who we are as people and as a band.  You can see it in our work ethic, our open minds towards people and experiences, and similarly in our eternal search for a unique identity that you must cultivate to survive in a city of 2.6 million. Thank you to everyone who came out and had a crazy night with us. The memories of that one night of bliss will act as positivity fodder for when I am inevitably playing to 5 indifferent strangers in town called “Fuckton” or “Weaselburg” on a Tuesday night in exchange for slightly-discounted mozzarella sticks.

Right now I am watching as my guitar player Eytan heroically takes a leak into a bottle as we faithfully maneuver the labyrinthine clusterfuck that is Quebec construction. It is these kinds of moments when I look deep into my own soul and softly whisper my newfound mantra: “I should have been a dentist. I should have been a dentist…”

Last night we played Piranha Bar in Montreal. What a truly amazing city Montreal is. 100% authentic and unique in every way. But I must ask, is everyone in Montreal a 10? Goodness, even the homeless look like Abercrombie models. I can see that diet being a big hit, the Montreal homeless diet. “Eat nothing but peach pits, pizza crusts, wine dregs and gutter-marinated smoked meat and have washboard abs in a month and a half.” We went up last night with no set list or idea of what we were going to play. That is fun to do every now and again. It helps us develop our onstage improvisation and musicianship to go by the seats of our collective pants. That kind of performance is conducive to spontaneity that I have always thought was a great device for compelling entertainment. Like a rollercoaster with no restraints. Apparently our friends Sam and Max got engaged to each other during our title track Psychonaut. That’s a first! I’m glad they waited until we were actually playing a song and I was finished talking about my penis.

As we continue rumbling towards the United States we have a nervous energy because we know we will be at the mercy of whomever we meet at the border. They have absolute power over us. They have the ability to cancel our whole trip, and potentially our music careers, and even more shocking, they have the unchecked authority to look in our bums. We are currently at our last gas stop before crossing over into the States and we are frantically cleaning the van, making sure we made no mistakes with our paper work and throwing out all of our plums and pears. Is that the biggest threat to national security? Fuckin' plum smugglers?  Are they looking to prevent crimes of Passionfruit?

I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Stay tuned for more blog entries and keep track of us on our brand new podcast entitled “The Fatality Backseat LeVoncast” to take a rare look into the conversations and adventures of a touring metal band as we do our darnedest to conquer the world with nothing but a mild headache, an unfortunate road diet and no sleep. You can search for it and subscribe to it on iTunes in the Podcast section, or you can find it at Did I mention that it’s free????

Wish us luck, dearest friends.

Spencer “what are you doing with that rubber glove!?” LeVon

P.S. We made it!

For tour and other photos shot by our roadie Sean DeCory visit our new Flickr page here:

Continue to follow us on Flickr to get the most up-to-date photos from the road being documented every single day.

Also, if you haven't yet, watch our new music video for Thoughts Collide:


  1. That is the funniest thing I have ever read!!!

  2. crimes of passionfruit harm fruit salads every day and are no joke! Have you no empathy for poorly mixed fruit flavours and the days they ruin? HAVE YOU NO SOUL???? you monster!

    -Masons unfunny tall lady