The General Tao Diaries: Weekend Warriors

What’s going on folks? This is Spencer LeVon writing to you from the Esquire Great Eastern Chinese restaurant in beautiful North York Toronto. I just got fired from my job 15 minutes ago and I am trying to ease the pain with some general Tao chicken. Typical white guy order. I may as well have just asked the Asian gentlemen at the counter what they have that tastes the most like chicken wings. If there were a way to somehow add mayonnaise to this dish, I'm sure I would submit to a full on fit of honkey-boy ecstasy.

Getting fired is great isn’t it? Not quite as fun as quitting, mind you. Because at least then it is on your terms. But really when you get down to it, getting fired is just gods way of telling you to watch more daytime television. I might normally be tempted to contemplate my future or perhaps simply yell at myself shirtless in the mirror, rhetorically asking myself how a chinless nobody like myself managed to survive this long. But I can’t. There is just too much cool shit happening to even begin feeling bummed out for a minute.

For starters, Fatality has got an old school weekend warrior road trip lined up this weekend with gigs in Ottawa and Toronto. We kick it off on this Friday November the 2^nd in our nations capital with our thrash companions Aggressor, Mastery, Criticull and our buddies from the Yukon, Sanktuary. The very next day we will be peeling our sorry asses off of whatever floor we managed to stick to, and head straight to Toronto to perform a headlining show at the Hard Luck Bar alongside Aggressor, Mastery, Lethal Voltage and our French Canadian buddies in Eternal Judgment. This is just what I need. 2 nights of screeching insanity with a pack of bands that I care deeply for.

What is better is that all of this excitement will lead us into our final portion of songwriting and the transition into the studio to record our second full-length album. Holy shit! I am completely pleased with our new material. It is a little bit more dynamic and daring, but still as razor sharp and potent as always. I really cannot wait to take these tracks into the studio and bring them to life. You can catch some of our new material at the up coming gigs this weekend!!

To celebrate my newfound free time, I have some fresh content for all ya'll. First up, here is a promo video made by our bass player Adam Zlotnik to promote our Toronto headliner gig on November 3^rd. The footage used was from our last Headliner at the Hard Luck on September 1st. God damn we have a lotta fun! We also threw in an awful blowjob joke in there for good measure.

We also have a batch of photos we took a few months back with the beautiful and talented Victoria J. Polsoni featured in this blog. They turned out great, and she did a really good job. I think the only reason we didn’t release these earlier is because my hair looks like a mix between Helen hunt and “The Leader” of the Movmentarien cult from that Simpsons episode. Yuck. What was I thinking?!

Anyways, I’m going to wrap up this blog and take my chicken to go, because I am unemployed and I don’t want to miss the Power Puff girls on YTV.

Hope to see you this weekend. Lets party!

Spencer LeVon

Check out the new video HERE

                                View the rest of the photos from the photoshoot HERE

 

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Announcing: All Ages Fatality Show at the Hard Luck Bar September 1st

For many, September is a time of stress and disappointment. This might be that it represents the “back to school” season or perhaps it represents the beginning of the transition between summer to winter. The whole thought of September might have you as cold and miserable as a sound guy.

That’s a bit of a strange analogy, but why are most sound guys so universally disgruntled? I have a feeling it is because they are just “guys” but they have always wanted to be “men”. That would be devastating, wouldn’t it? Being just a guy. Because as we all know “guy” is the moniker that we give members of society that we don’t fully respect. Take “pizza guy” for example. He is just a goddamn guy. Have you ever met a “police guy”? Didn’t think so!

However you feel about the month of September, I have 2 reasons for you to turn that frown upside down and to make the feeling a little bit more manageable. Reason #1 is that you get to break out all those dope leather jackets that have been patiently waiting in your closet all season to make you look cool while all the while you have been gallivanting like a bumbling fool with shorts on as people look on with disgust after making harsh eye contact with your awful inner thighs.

The second reason is because we are throwing a massive all ages rager at the Hard Luck Bar on September 1st. It has been a good goddamn while since we put on a big Fatality production like this because we have been habitually busy in the Laboratory (the Fatality jam space) writing the best material we have ever written. So what better way to celebrate the next chapter of the Fatality legacy then to put on a gigantic all ages Heavy Metal party to showcase all our new songs which will be recorded and released on our next album.

Helping us get the party started is Toronto doom band “Pyres” who I can only describe as Black Sabbath on acid. On next is the return of Mastery, who have just been added to the bill. These dudes have been laying low for some time and are back in stage form and will be joining us to kick some ass with their new vocalist! We also have Folk Metal party monsters Crimson Shadows playing to make sure that you have a fabulous sound track for your night of shameful binge drinking. And on right before us will be our good buddies in Unleash the Archers. Or UTA as they are also known coming all the way from Vancouver, BC!

So do yourself a favor and save the date of Saturday September 1st. Call in sick to work, TVO that awful fuckin' show that you love, drunk proof your apartment and come out to the Hard Luck and enjoy our celebration of friends and Heavy Metal Music. Look forward to the usual surprises and remember that this is an all ages show, so invite any youngins who would enjoy the experience, because there seems to be less and less opportunities for young folk to enjoy live Metal in Toronto. Also, don’t invite any “sound guys”.

Goddamn, I can’t wait.

Spencer LeVon

PS. Visit www.fatality.ca for the official Facebook event for this show and check out the official show poster below:

PPS. Brand new shirts have arrived!!! Check out the design below:

New shirts will be available for $15 and our old design will be on sale for $10

Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show #4: the Marilyn Manson Palaver

In this 4th installment of the SSTPCS, Spencer recalls a violent and embarrassing exchange with counterculture icon Marilyn Manson, involving a disinterested goth girl, a water bottle to the stomach and an airborne hot dog. So cook up some eggs, put on a good pair of sweat pants and spend this Sunday afternoon the way it was supposed to be spent: dry heaving and Cursing yourself in the mirror.

The Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show #3: Relationshit Advice

The Speen Machine is back with the third episode of the Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show.  This week, an audibly hung over Spencer Le Von gives some solid advice to the dudes on how to gently ease your new girlfriend into recognizing what a scumbag you really are.




To download this and all other episodes, go to:
http://archive.org/details/TheSpencerSundayThrowupPodcastShow

The Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show #2: Sneezes of Nazareth

Here's the second installation of the Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show.  This week, Spencer recalls the horror of being a multiple sneezer, and reflects on some of the dumb things people say about it.

Gesundheit!



To download this and all other episodes, go to:
http://archive.org/details/TheSpencerSundayThrowupPodcastShow

The Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast Show #1

The Spencer Sunday Throwup Podcast is the sonic equivalent of a Gatorade and 2 aspirins after a night of shameless binge drinking. Toronto musician Spencer LeVon guides you through the hangover experience with soft piano music, lighthearted stories, jokes and some of his favorite love songs to take the edge off. So fry up a few eggs, draw the blinds and enjoy the day of rest.

Go here to download the podcast:
http://archive.org/details/TheSpencerSundayThrowupPodcastShow

The FATALITY Silly Walk Video Contest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FwHxmFoj2k

It is shocking how little time a musician actually gets to play his or her instrument. There is just so much bullshit involved. For instance, have you ever actually sat in on a recording session? Boy, it fucking sucks. It feels like everyone is either tuning, or waiting to tune. Where are the drugs? Where are the easily impressionable blondes?? I don’t care about mic placement, where is the fun? The music industry isn’t nearly as sexy as the 80’s insisted it was.

It took a while for me to realize how astonishingly important killing time is as a musician. It is a vital component of what we do. Whether it is mind bending travel time to a gig or waiting to perform, metal musicians have killing time down to a delicate science, and a band that laughs together stays together. 

To better illustrate this point we have devised a CONTEST based on our latest "weekly challenge" video. The video involves Eytan and I acting like complete assholes in public, because that is what makes us laugh and that’s what we find funny.

For this video we decided to pay tribute to Monty Python and the Ministry of Silly Walks. In this clip you can see me and Eytan going for a swift jaunt in our local Metro to purchase some late night munchies.

Now this is what we want from YOU!!!

CONTEST TIME!!!!

We want to see your silly walks. That’s right. Post a video of your silliest walks on our Facebook page and the winner will receive great prizes.

The person who posts the video that we deem to be the silliest will receive:

·      Free Fatality T-shirt

·      Free CD

·      Free patch, beer cozie or 3 pins

·      2 free tickets to our next local show (if applicable)

Let's get Silly!

Visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/fatalitythrash and post your video!